


Luigi Didn't Pay His Taxes

by NuclearTemptations



Category: Luigi's Mansion (Video Games), Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario Bros. (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Western, Betrayal, Cancer, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Gun Violence, Hurt No Comfort, Mentions of Cancer, Murder, Taxes, This Is STUPID, Written on a Dare, i took this way to seriously, shitpost, watch me change the names and make an award winning short story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23603095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NuclearTemptations/pseuds/NuclearTemptations
Summary: Luigi didn't pay his taxes and has a bounty on his head.
Kudos: 8





	Luigi Didn't Pay His Taxes

Luigi stands on the porch of a long-abandoned house in the middle of a desert. He sees the unmistakable red hat of his brother Mario as he approaches.  
"Mario! it is so good to see you!" Luigi says, walking over to the stairs attached to the porch as his brother ascends them.  
"It’s good to see you too, Luigi," Mario replies, opening his arms and embracing his brother. Luigi Happily returns his brother's embrace.  
“Its been so long since we last saw each other, hasn't it?" Luigi spoke with a gentle laugh, walking over to the porch swing and taking a seat. Mario joins his brother on the swing and laughs  
"Yes, it has been a while." Mario confirms. Luigi picks up two bottles of beer from the cooler beside him, handing one to his brother.  
"So, what have you been up to in the last 7 years?" Luigi asks Mario whilst opening his beer. Mario also opens his beer, clinking it together with his brothers before they both take a swig.  
"Peach hasn’t been doing too well," Mario speaks with a melancholic tone. "About three months ago she was diagnosed with stage 4 renal medullary carcinoma." Mario pauses, looking down at the worn and sun-bleached wood of the porch. "Cancer."  
"Oh... I'm-...I am so sorry to hear that." Luigi spoke just above a whisper, putting his hand on his brother’s shoulder in a vain attempt to comfort him. Mario sighs, shrugging off Luigi's hand and taking another swig from the bottle.  
"And what have you been up to, brother?" Mario asks with a slight venom to his tone. "Last I heard you were on the run from the law. Refused to pay your taxes and when they came after you for it, you wound up shooting and killing two officers." Luigi stiffens in his seat. Mario turns his head to look at his brother. Luigi refuses to make eye contact, instead opting to stare straight ahead. Mario sighs, standing up. Luigi stands up as well. "Do you know how much money is on your head?" Mario asks, walking to the stairs of the porch. Mario stops before the stairs, turning to look at his brother. Luigi brings his eyes up from the ground and looks Mario in his eyes. The red hat-wearing plumber sighs and looks out over the wasteland. Where they and the house stood had at one time been a large lake. But because of a dam that had been constructed nearly 150 years ago, the once beautiful blue lake had dried up, along with the life around it.  
"Do you know how much treatment costs for the particular type of cancer Peach has?" Mario questions, placing his hands on his hips, still looking out at the dried land  
"How much?" Luigi asks, reading himself.  
"Too much." Mario replies, grabbing a revolver he had hidden in his overalls, pointing it at his brother. Luigi put his hands up staring his brother in the eyes.  
"You do not have to do this, brother." Luigi warns, but Mario does not listen.  
"You are wanted dead or alive." Mario spat, venom dripping from every word he spoke. "10,000 dollars alive, or 7,000 dollars dead."  
"Mario, I-" Luigi began.  
"I KNOW I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFORD TREATMENT, BUT AT THE VERY LEAST, I CAN AFFORD TO BRING HER TO A PARADISE WHERE SHE CAN PASS IN PEACE!" Mario cut Luigi off, tears beginning to stream down his face. Luigi looked down slightly and sighed, a sad tone to it. Luigi looked up at his brother, face hardening. with a quick movement, he grabbed the gun, pushing the barrel away from him with his left hand. With his right hand, he quickly punched Mario in the jaw twice. Mario crumpled slightly, allowing Luigi to rip the gun out of hands and push his brother down the stairs. Mario, prone on the sandy ground, starts to crawl away.  
"We didn't have to do this," Luigi says coldly, slowly walking down the stairs towards his only brother.  
"You could have just gotten up and gone back the way you came." Mario seemingly ignores him, continuing to crawl. Luigi lets out an annoyed growl and stomps over to his brother, kicking him hard enough in the side to roll him onto his back. Mario looks up at his brother in fear, seeing that the brother he had grown up with was completely gone. Luigi had merely been putting up a show for his brother to hide that Mario was sharing a drink with somebody he no longer knew. Luigi holds the gun that belonged to his would-be-murderer in his left hand, inspecting it. Luigi turns his head and looks at Mario's fear riddled face, feeling nothing. The criminal points the gun towards the soon-to-be-dead man's head.  
"For someone who thinks of themselves as so smart, you didn't even once THINK that all the time I had spent sitting in the sidelines watching you fight, that I wouldn't learn a thing or two?" Luigi Chuckled sardonically.  
"Brother, p-p-please think about this-" Mario pleaded.  
"Think about this? Think about how my own brother, my own blood was going to kill me for a bag full of coin? Think about how I shouldn't kill my brother even though not 30 seconds before, he was about to kill me?" Luigi spat, wrath filling his words. Mario said nothing as he held a pleading look in his eyes. Luigi's cold eyes now filled with a fiery rage that threatened to consume him. Luigi pulled the hammer back on the gun with his thumb and made the last few adjustments to his aim before pulling the trigger, killing the emotionally broken man that laid at his feet. His blood painted the pale yellow sand a deep red as it seeped out of his head. Luigi took a deep breath in and looked around him before letting it out. Luigi began to walk in the direction his brother had come from. He soon came upon a camp, quickly realizing it belonged to his brother. Luigi became confused when he saw that there were two horses, not one. Luigi walked over to the tent and opened it, seeing peach laying down on her side in a bedroll, facing away from him. There was an awful smell, and Luigi quickly recognized it. He quickly walked over to peach, kneeling behind her and rolling her over to face him. She was dead, having passed recently. She had thrown a clot, which travelled to her brain, killing her whilst she slept. Luigi cursed under his breath, thinking for a moment. He got up, walked out of the tent, and found a shovel. he dug a shallow grave and laid the former princess in it. Luigi shovelled the sand back over her body, silently crying. She didn't have to die alone like this. Once the job was done, Luigi packed up the camp, placing the supplies on the strongest looking horse. he untied them both, getting on the one with the supplies and slowly riding away, with the second horse following behind.


End file.
